Sheila Charles ARE YOU SITTING COMFORTABLY
I have one friend who always
Listens to each poem that I write.
As she doesn’t live in Dunedin,
I phone every Tuesday night.
I read my poems first
Before we talk about this and that.
After she laughs and compliments me,
We have a nice, long chat.
As soon as she rings, I begin by saying,
“Five poems for you today.
Are you sitting comfortably?
Then I’ll begin.” She says, “Okay.”
I begin like that because
I used to hear it on the radio
When I was growing up in England.
So that was ages and ages ago.
Well, one of my poems was printed
In the Listener. How excited was I?
If anyone came within spitting distance,
I would read it to them. You’LL guess why.
I was thrilled at being in print.
First time ever. I won’t tell a lie.
Today a bachelor friend arrived
To show me a newspaper ad.
I insisted he sit down and listen.
(He reminded me of my dad.)
I smiled “Are you sitting comfortably?
Then I’ll begin,” I intoned.
Then I realised he’D never heard of it!
I felt silly. I inwardly groaned.
“They use to say that on the radio.
Don’t you remember it?” I said.
I suddenly recalled what programme it was
And turned a shade of bright red!
“Oh, sorry. It was Listen With Mother.”
He looked confused and scratched his head.
I just wished I’d thought quickly enough
to say something else instead!
illustration by ume-nori
