Sheila Charles CAMERA SHY
I thought I had only four positions –
Lying, sitting, standing and shuffling along
But after last night’s social occasion
I have been proved WRONG!
We were sat round a table at a restaurant
And unbeknown to me
My friend took dozens of photographs.
(It seems if you don’t print them, it’s free.)
There were six of at the table.
Four of them were really quiet.
My friend Tess and I were the talkers.
The thing is, she’s on a diet.
So while the rest of us were eating,
She was roaming round
taking all these photographs –
Without even making a sound.
Once, when she was absent from the table –
She’d spotted someone she knew –
Silence reigned and we all got wet.
I am telling you – it’s true.
As I have enough silence at home,
Living mostly alone, as I do,
I need to have a conversation
With somebody – but who?
So I held a chip aloft on my fork
And said, “I’ve got the longest chip.”
They all studied their plates
Except Brent. Was he having a kip?
Then Rose said, “I’ve got the SMALLEST one.
There was no doubt about it – she had.
Brent merely looked at us all
As though we had all gone mad!!
Tess still did not appear so my next trick was to wave my fan.
“Can anyone OPEN it?” I asked. “Please say so, if you can.”
At the end of the meal, that’S when I found I was in lots of photographs, yes.
Gesticulating, leaning, nodding pointing, bending over. Thanks a lot, Tess.
And would you believe this -n every one of them, my hair looked a mess!
illustration by ume-nori
