Sheila Charles MY ALARM
I’ve got a St. John’s beeper.
My daughter said I must.
It happens round my neck
And dangles round my bust.
It used to fit between them
But now I’ve lost so much weight
It just roams all over the place.
It’s getting difficult to locate!
I was in my bed the other night
Writing my diary, when
I had to lean over night
To retrieve my ball point pen.
Unbeknown to me
The little beeper got pressed.
My daughter came rushing in
Looking obviously distressed.
“What’s happened mum?” “Nothing.”
“Your alarm’s gone off!,” she said.
“I never heard it. I was just reaching down.
My pen had dropped off the bed.”
I consider myself very lucky
That my daughter was here
To tell St.John everything was alright
And to give them all clear.
So I decided NOT TO wear it
When I go to bed tonight
Just in case I lie on it
And give my daughter another fright.
On second thought I might mistakenly
Press it during the day.
I’ll leave it on the table.
That should be okay.
At least it will be near at hand
And it won’t GET IN MY WAY!
ONLY JOKING
illustration by ume-nori
