Sheila Charles TOO COLD
For anyone who lives in the Deep South
And I have for years – twenty-two,
Winter, especially the one we’ve just had,
Has been positively stinkaroo.
(I found that would in my rhyming book.
What it means – I haven’t a clue,
But it sounds negative, doesn’t it?
So I guess that it will do!)
Well, my electricity company,
In its wisdom, I’ve no doubt,
Keep telling me how to reduce my usage.
What on earth’s that about?
They send me graphs and statistics
So that I may know
How many units I use each minute
And how much money I owe!
I rang them up the other day
And related my tale of owe.
“I have had an operation
So I’ve been housebound for forty-two days,
It’s been the coldest winter since records began
And I’m sick of all these surveys.
For the first time in my entire life
I’ve had my heater on day AND night.
I have a night store in the hall –
I’ve still nearly gone down with frost bite.
I’ve to heat the bathroom at regular intervals
And I’ve to eat. Is that alright?
I must keep warm, pal, otherwisw
I could very well freeze to death.”
(I know telling him was a waste of time.
I probably should have saved my death.)
I bet he’s not heard of Dunedin or SNOW,
When all is said and done.
He’ll be speaking from somewhere in INDIA,
SOAKING UP THE SUN!
illustration by ume-nori
