Sheila Charles NEW OVEN NEW FRIDGE
My friend bought a new oven.
The next day she had it installed.
They gave her a book to go with it.
She was, quite rightly, appalled.
The oven clock was digital,
Not the type she preferred.
Besides, it wasn’t clear enough.
The numbers appeared blurred.
Why are things so complicated?
It’s enough to furrow the brow.
You just need a little recipe book
And a little bit of know-how.
Last weekend I bought a fridge.
Delivered the following day.
I signed the paper, off he went
On his merry way.
That too had a book of instructions
At least ten pages long
Showing you the lay out
And telling you what could go wrong.
Safety preparations, usage precautions, how to keep it clean.
Usage tips, how to make ice cubes. Now do you see what I mean?
Inside the door, this instruction, ‘For preventing of that children are
Kept inside compartment.’ Now isn’t THAT bizarre?
(All it really means is ‘Don’t leave the door ajar.’)
And every three months, I’d to move it. It didn’t reveal how I could.
I’d to empty something in the back. Yoo much sweat and blood!
Considering I can’t shift it at all, the wouldn’t be much good!
In the old days there were NO fridges. Admittedly it was COLD.
We put our food under the stairs. As did every other household.
Then, when we DID get a fridge, it was placed on the floor
And to put food in and fetch it back out, one just opened the door!
WE DIDN’T NEED A BOOKLET TO TELL US WHAT TO DO.
IT WAS AS PLAIN AS A PIKESTAFF. ONE JUST AUTOMATICALLY KNEW.
illustration by ume-nori
